


Leave. Leave the Phantom Thieves Group Chat

by LuigiHouse (WarioCart), WarioCart



Series: Chatsona [1]
Category: Persona 5, Persona Q2: New Cinema Labyrinth, Persona Series
Genre: Chatlogs, Comedy, F/M, Group chat, Human Morgana (Persona Series), No Sex, One Shot, Other, Polythieves (Persona 5), Post-Persona 5, Realistic, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Texting, Walter - Freeform, chatfic, futaba has no arms but she must meme, god isn't watching you, no, the phantom thieves are, yusuke is too powerful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2020-12-29 07:51:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21136349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WarioCart/pseuds/LuigiHouse, https://archiveofourown.org/users/WarioCart/pseuds/WarioCart
Summary: The dudebro side of the Phantom Thieves take their time to look at some filth from the Phansite. Some funny, some not, and some batshit insane.Morgana stashes some of it.





	1. "Hit It Joker"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryuji starts a second group chat, and Akechi learns who Walter is.

** The Fellas **

* * *

_Ryuji added Morgana to the conversation._

_Ryuji added you to the conversation._

_Ryuji added Yusuke Kitagawa to the conversation_

Ryuji: okay 

Ryuji: wait hang on

_Ryuji changed Morgana's name to **Bastard Catman**_

_Morgana changed Bastard Catman's name to **Morgana**_

Morgana: Not cool Ryuji also

Morgana: Why 

Yusuke: I think that a secondary group chat is

> we vibing

Yusuke: somewhat unnecessary.

Ryuji: well really i don't think the girls want to see any of this

Ryuji: ren can you send me akechi's number

> yeah

_Ryuji added Goro Akechi into the conversation._

_Ryuji changed Goro Akechi's name to **Walter**_

Ryuji: YEAH

Walter: While I would be adamant on changing my name, it's more formal than what you usually change it to.

Walter: So I'll be keeping it like this.

Morgana: So why no Ann 

Morgana: 3: 

Ryuji: i regret they gave you a phone but

> can i show akechi who walter is

Walter: Please. 

Ryuji: yeah DUDE

> 

Walter: A dog? I don't get the joke.

Ryuji: walter

> walter

Yusuke: Walter is a nice name for a dog, Ren. Congratulations.

Morgana: I also do not get it

Ryuji: okay OKAY now let me talk

Ryuji: made the group chat so we can look at some shit on the phansite

Yusuke: It's smut, isn't it.

Ryuji: WHO TOLD HIM ABOUT THE SMUT

> he probably wanted to see the art

Yusuke: Some of it is actually well done. I cannot say the same about the writing. 

Morgana: ...what writing

Walter: Me and Ren have had our fair experience. 

> pancake gang  
_(liked by Walter and Ryuji)_

Walter: We saw some last time we met. There's some of everyone else as well. 

Walter: Thankfully using our codenames. 

Ryuji: _Joke's On You - Panther __x__ Joker_  
_(liked by Ren)_

Morgana: What

Morgana: WHAT

Morgana WHAT IS THIS

> hit it joker  
(_liked by Walter and Ryuji, laughed by Yusuke)_

Morgana: SHUT UP

Yusuke: I got it. It's a joke on how you are also Joker. Very good.

Morgana: _Cats In Heat_

Morgana: HAHAHA

Morgana: I WIN I GOT ANN

Ryuji: you have experienced a hollow victory

Ryuji: morgana

> we know what he's doing  
_(disliked by Ryuji)_

Ryuji: fuck man

Ryuji: we lost morgana

Yusuke: Do you wish to get lunch?

Walter: I believe we should.

Walter: Morgana seems to be busy.

> burger time


	2. "Guess What Fuckface"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto and Futaba manage to get into the group chat. Why no Ann?
> 
> Ryuji wishes to make Morgana suffer.

**The Fellas**

* * *

<strike> </strike> _Ryuji added Makoto Niijima into the conversation._

Ryuji: guess what

Ryuji: WE'RE REVIVING THIS BITCH BABYYYYYYY

> oh hey Makoto

Makoto: So let me get this straight.

Makoto: We're looking into the kind of shit that sometimes shows up on the Phansite?

Yusuke: We've never looked into the art aspect however.

Walter: It's Akechi by the way. And yes, we've just been doing this for recreational purposes.

Ryuji: Mostly added you since you're also somewhat of a dude

Makoto: What

Ryuji: IN SPIRIT

Makoto: So why didn't you add Futaba

Ryuji: uh

_Unknown Caller added Futaba to the conversation._

_Futaba changed her name to **Futabae**._

Futabae: GUESS WHAT FUCKFACE  
(_laughed by Yusuke, Walter, and Ren) _

Ryuji: WHAT THE FUCK

> you forgot that futaba probably bugged like

> one of our phones

Futabae: not saying which one uwu

Ryuji: please god almighty help me

> So at this point, should we just add Ann or

Ryuji: nah lol let's spite morgana

Morgana:   
(_liked by Futabae, Walter, and 4 others)_

Futabae: OFOFPPDPDPSD 

Futabae: YOU'VE SUMMONED HIM

Makoto: I'm worried on how many cat reactions he has now

> speak ann's name three times and he'll come out out of a summoning circle

Morgana: SHUT THE FUCK UP 

Morgana: WHY CAN'T ANN SEE ANY OF THIS >:((((

> **you know why**  
_(liked by Futabae, Walter, and 3 others. laughed by Yusuke)_

Yusuke: Apologies, I misclicked.

Morgana: YEAH BUT SHE WOULD FIND IT BEAUTIFUL LIKE SHE IS

> morgana you're getting horny on main again  
(_liked by Futabae and Ryuji)_

Morgana: Shut UP

Makoto: I think Ann has problems with shit like this at school already

Ryuji: yeah so uh

Ryuji: LET'S LOOK INTO TRASH AGAIN

Futabae: YEAYAHYAYAYAYAYAYAYA

Makoto: Oh boy 

> let us dive into the depths of phandom hell once more

Yusuke: Can I at least post a good piece of art from the Phansite first?

Ryuji: Yeah sure

Futabae: smut smut smut smut 

Yusuke: _Of Crow and Joker_

Walter: This is actually well done! I like the duality of red and black.

> reminds me of shido's broken face  
(_Liked by Walter)_

Futabae: >:3333 heeh

Futabae: _Crow's Beak - Joker x Crow (18)_

> oh god

> this one

Makoto: "J-Joker, penetrate me like your bullets.."  
(_liked by Futabae)_

Futabae: hoyl fuck ign g

Walter: I remember how bad this one was.. even if it is to be pornographic, it should at least have a plot. 

> there needs to be a reason for us to fuck  
(_liked by Ryuji, Yusuke, and Futabae)_

Makoto: Here's 13 of them

Futabae: I GOT THAT 

Futabae: THAT WAS A SAD SHOW D: 

Ryuji: let's get out of depression, check it

Ryuji: _Joker's Merry Band of Fuckery - Polythieves Fic_  
_(laughed by Futabae, Ren, and 4 others)_

Futabae: POLYTHIEVES

Futabae: YOU FOUND THE POLYTHIEVES

Futabae: KFKSOMESLFdlkskfsdzlfs

> oh

> oh.

Yusuke: What's a polythief? From the title, it seems that Joker's letting someone into the Phantom Thieves.

Futabae: yuor're..,, twoo pweiosucs,,., don't click it,.,,

Makoto: So wait I'm fucking Ann

Makoto: Cool

Yusuke: What

Futabae: MAKOTO

Morgana: I FUCKING REFUSE THIS WHAT THE ACTUAL SHIT

> NO YOU'VE SUMMONED HIM AGAIN

Morgana: I AM ACTUALLY AT MY FUCKING LIMIT I DON'T EVEN GET TO TOUCH ANN IN THIS, IT'S JUST YOU GUYS

Yusuke: I think they've mostly seen you as a cat.

Morgana: CATS IN HEAT YUSUKE

> cats the movie  
(_liked by Makoto, Futabae, and 4 others, disliked by Morgana)_

Morgana: SHUT THE FUCK UP

Morgana: CATS IN HEAT

Futabae: People humanize people in their fancanons anyways, so Cats In Heat ((the movie)) is no exception Morgz

Futabae: also i dare you to find another

Futabae: ehe

> futaba don't ask that

Futabae: ??????

Walter: The last time he did that, he was so caught up in his fascination that he spent several hours reading through.. stuff that I refuse to describe. 

Ryuji: jesus christ this blew up and uh

Ryuji: FUCK

Ryuji: WE LOST MORGANA TO THE SMUT AGAIN

Makoto: NOOOOOO

> anyways futaba

> while morgana is doing

> stuff  
(_laughed by Makoto, Walter, and Ryuji.)_

> can we head over and play smash bros

Futabae: I have now mas t e rdd the fucking Corrin I will decimate you playing as

Futabae: yourself

Futabae: fuck 

Walter: I think training my Marth would be nice. 

Makoto: Game night

Ryuji: GAME NIGHT

* * *

Morgana: _Lovecats_

Yusuke: It's midnight, Morgana. 

Morgana: how are you awake

Yusuke: Sheer will, I need to paint a portrait of myself to put onto the forum. I must put a professional work there.

Morgana: what


	3. "Footass"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryuji and Makoto come forward with their relationship status; not single. The gang shares their vows and then dives RIGHT DOWN into the trash bin.

**The Phantom Fellas**

* * *

_Ryuji changed the chat's name to **The Phantom Fellas**_.

Ryuji: So uh

Ryuji: I kind of wanted to share it here since it's the more used chat

Makoto: Me and Ryuji are dating now

Ryuji: DUDE

> you deserve her more than any of us, especially me

> kings don't let kings down

> king

Ryuji: what

Walter: Congratulations on your relationship status.

Yusuke: Congratulations as well, Ryuji.

Makoto: Ren's talking about when we dated and he decided to go with Futaba behind my back

Makoto: And when I found out.. 

Makoto: Well he knows.

> i think you shoved your boot so hard up my ass that i can't shit

Makoto: At least you learned now

Makoto: Footass. ;)   
(_Liked by Futabae, Ryuji, and Yusuke.)_

> i deserved it lol 

Futabae: hfpk dslmfl sf

Futabae: your ex.... footoabs

Futabae: Ofllfldfotoot....,,.

> take your time

Futabae: foot

Walter: So while we are here.

Walter: Shall we do what we've always done?

Yusuke: One thing before we start. 

> yeah?

Yusuke: _The Fox of Bitter Cold_

> holy shit

Futabae: WHO MADE THAT SJKLDKDMSMDMSLMK HOLY SHIT

Futabae: IT'S LIKE A RENASSAINCE FJIFICONG

> ok it's probably Yusuke himself

Makoto: It's Yusuke

Ryuji: it's yusuke

Yusuke: And you're right! I needed to put a much better art of myself on the front page of that area.. it was somewhat barren, with most other pieces being either decent or scrabble.

Walter: Do you plan on doing illustrations on the other sections?

Yusuke: Perhaps on those who don't get as much attention.

Futabae: it's time for FUTABA ART, BABY TIME

> baby time

Yusuke: I've also thought. 

Yusuke: Should we invite Haru as well?

Ryuji: i mean we could but 

_Ren added Haru to the conversation. _

Ryuji: oh god oh fuck

> let loose the haru

Futabae: HARU MY CHILD WELCOME TO THE WORST PLACE IMAGINABLE

Haru: Oh? You're posting those things from the Phansite? I have some

Makoto: Why do I feel this was a bad idea

Walter: It can't be as bad as most of it has been. 

> yeah, to be honest nothing tops Cats in Heat

> .

> holy shit he didn't come

Haru: Morgana? What's up with him? I haven't seen much of him since he's become human.

Futabae: he's gotten horny horny. HORNY horny  
(_emphasized by Ryuji, Ren, Walter, and 2 others.)_

Haru: Why, it can't be that bad.

> _Cats in Heat_  
_(disliked by Ryuji, Makoto, and 4 others.)_

Futabae: THE CURSED LINK 

Futabae: TRULY THE MOST CURSED LINK

Makoto: Morgana in the Bedroom  
What he gonna morph into   
(_liked by Ryuji)_  
  


Walter: I think 'shitposting' this trashfire does help alleviate the pain.  
(_liked by Futabae and Makoto)_

> morgana saying cat puns during sex continues the bubsy headcanon these guys might be having

Futabae: HOLY SHIT, BUBSY MORGANA, IFKSKS BUS BFFY

Makoto: Everything can go wrong

Ryuji: bubsy morgana

Ryuji: bubsy morgana

Morgana: I see how you're now understanding how much quality Cats in Heat really is

Haru: I'm disappointed in you, Morgana.

Morgana: HARU

Morgana: HARU WHAT

Futabae: morgana,... baby. . ., , you have a serious problem with this stuff

Morgana: SHUT THE FUCK UP IT'S SPECTACULAR, YOU GUYS GET SO MUCH MORE THAN ME

Morgana: JUST LET ME HAVE THIS

> you should be proud about that

> you do not KNOW how much me and futaba get

Futabae: weeknights we share the worst amongst each other

Futabae: _In De Nile  
_(_liked by Ren and Walter)_

Futabae: they called it de nile

Futabae: like 

Futabae: like da nile

Haru: I'm sorry to leave so soon, but I'm disgusted in Morgana actually enjoying these kinds of things. 

_Haru has left the conversation._

Makoto: I feel bad for haru, she had to be subjected to cats in heat

Futabae: guys, what,h ehat if ..,,, morgana wrote it

Ryuji: DUDE THAT MAKES A LOT OF FUCKING SENSE

> that is probably the case.

Futabae: i mean i wrote a polythieves piece and regretted every moment of it unu

Makoto: ok but do i get to do ryuji

Ryuji: MAKOTO

> get a room

Walter: Are you talking about the piece called "_Joker's Brother Has a Giant Dick"._ Does Ren even have a sibling? 

> if i had a brother he'd be like luigi man

Futabae: y ye a

> co-written

Ryuji: at what point does does the hero live long enough to become the villain

Ryuji: like, fuck futaba, i don't know what to say

Futabae: rooygi.,,, i got you to say a duke nukem line, for gi vne me..,,

Ryuji: half a point given back to you and nothing more

Makoto: Me and Ryuji are going out for some drinks, do you and Futaba want to come? You can come too, "Walter"  
(_liked by Walter and 3 more)_

Walter: We should go on more outings. It's quite nice to build a friendship like this!

> futaba bring the switch

Futabae: CORRIN, CORRNG..,, 

Futabae: tiem to c hsagn fate..,,

Ryuji: fuck yeah! let's go

* * *

Yusuke: I have finished the piece for Futaba.

Morgana: can i get one

  
Yusuke: No.


	4. "Really Thinking About Kicking Morgana"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Most of the group is getting sick of Morgana's tomfuckery, so they have a group intervention. Finally, the whole group shows up! Might as well end on a high note.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE  
ANOTHER CHAPTER  
hehe i need to make it an even numbero

** The Phantom Fellas**

* * *

Ryuji: i think we should make this the prominent chat since we obviously use it more

Ryuji: So let's invite everyone lets cause anarchy fuck it

Futabae: Oh??? On god??

Makoto: But wouldn't Ann be uncomfortable??

> on recollection she is probably alright with it

Ryuji: Yeah

> and really she's like miles less horny than morgana has ever been

Makoto: I'm gonna say it, Ren's right. 

Makoto: To some extent, Morgana has become something far beyond our control  
(_disliked by Futabae)_

Makoto: So yeah, let's get back-up

_Ryuji added Ann into the conversation._

_Ryuji added Haru into the conversation._

_Ann changed Ann's name to **Catwoman**_

Catwoman: Suuuup

Haru: Why was I invited here again?

> morgana became too horny so we need to give him a group intervention

Walter: I'd prefer if we gave him the version of intervention from that sitcom, Sunny in Philadelphia.

Walter: That is, we hold him at gunpoint. 

Futabae: INTERVENTION INTERVENTION INTERVENTION  
_(liked by Ren)_

Catwoman: Okay so

Catwoman: Morgana got so horny we need to stop him from being horny

Catwoman: guys that's like putting gasoline on fire we can't stop him being that horny

_Haru changed Haru's nickname to **Ann Liberator**_

Catwoman: holy shit haru no

Ann Liberator: Morgana must be stopped. Haru, yes.  
_(liked by Futabae, Ren, and 3 others.)_

Catwoman: if this is an effort that must be made then let's take down morgana from being ultra horny

Yusuke: I'll join in once I am finished with the Crow art.

Walter: Thank you, Yusuke. 

> ok i know how we call him out

Ryuji: really thinking about kicking morgana

> physically? yes. mentally? yes  
(_liked by Ann Liberator, Catwoman, and 3 others.)_

Futabae: i know exactly how we all ring h him out .w.

Makoto: Is it 

Makoto: WAIT

Futabae: >:U no!! i'm getting another Panther x Joker fic

Catwoman: Those exist?? huh

> oh i know they exist

> they exist alright  
_(liked by Futabae, Ryuji, and Walter)_

Futabae: _Cat Got Your Tongue - PxJ (21+)_

Ann Liberator: Going off of the chat logs, it's 3 years older than the last one.

Ann Liberator: What gives this one any difference?

Catwoman: sometimes they just alternate between 21 and 18 on them it seems

Morgana: WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING

Walter: THERE HE IS

> MORGANA

> INTERVENTION

Morgana: WHAT DO YOU MEAN

Futabae: INTERVENTION INTERVENTION INTERVENTION INTERVENTION

Catwoman: Morgana what are you doing

Morgana: ANN

Morgana: WHAT DID YOU GUYS DO

Morgana: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY

Ann Liberator: Actions speak louder than words. The smut, Morgana. She found your Cats and she must not find it pleasing.

Catwoman: oh yeah that link in the log from yesterday let me see

> SWEET LORD NO

Catwoman: ....i'm just gonna take your word for it ren  
_(liked by Ren and Futabae)_

Futabae: morgana you gotta quit masturbagin..,, o lease., . 

Morgana: If I quit making these fics will you guys quit shouting at me

_Morgana was kicked from the group chat._

> Maybe

> RYUJI ACTUALLY DID IT

> ABSOLUTE MAD MAN

Ryuji: i'll let him back in tomorrow when he confronts us in person

Ann Liberator: We've done it, and have stopped Morgana.

Catwoman: nice job

Futabae: _Congratulations - Neon Genesis Evangelion  
__(liked by Ren)_

Walter: It's been done. 

Futabae: THE GROUP CHAT IS FREED FROM HORNY

Futabae: THE GOTURIOPFCLF<V FHYQAT

> futaba please

Makoto: Speaking of Futaba, I think we should all celebrate at her house or something like we did last week

Futabae: yea let me ask 

Futabae: sojiro's good w it

Ryuji: yeah!!!!!

Walter: I've purchased a Marth amiibo, so perhaps that can assist me.

> smash night

Ryuji: it's GAME NIGHT

Ryuji: but yeah it works

Makoto: SMASH NIGHT

Catwoman: Oh fuck sure let's go

Futabae: the fun y night

* * *

Yusuke: _Crow of Shadows_

> yusuke how much sleep have you gotten 

Yusuke: Minimal. I shall now crash for around 3 hours before starting again.

> take a break man 

Walter: Art must be a thing that takes great discipline. 


End file.
